My very first emotional post.

I'm eighteen in five days-thought I'd give you some backstory for this-and today, I was sad.

My mum was married to a man called Pip, who died when I was four, in 1999. She has, quote, never loved anyone else. Recently, we-mummy, me, my sister-moved out of our house after a relationship breakdown. Since then, mum's mentioned more and more things about Pip.

For one-he'd light a candle in her room everynight when she went to bed so she was never in the dark-cause he worked night shifts-and today, we had some wine and she said that white wine always reminded her of him.


That then got on to my birthday. I said she could buy me my first legal drink and she said that Pip would be proud and so pleased that I was 18 and that he would be the one to buy me that first ever legal drink.


That got me thinking. Of all the things he will never get to see, I wonder-constantly-if he's proud of me, whether he's up there somewhere looking out for us.

You'll come to realise, that I like stars. Like in the lion king, stars to me are people that have passed. And, I find whenever it gets hard, there's always a star. Because thinking that and knowing he's looking out for me really is the best thing ever.



ANYWAY. Don't want to be sad anymore.
Make the weekend special. O, O.