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I want to stop being so superficial. And bitchy, that too.



I want people to stop thinking that I think I'm better than other people, I don't, I wouldn't.


I want to stop judging people, I don't mean to. It's a common occurrence. Everyone does it.


Need to stop bitchy tweeting. I am better than that.


I want to stop being scared.



I want to be confident, self assured.



Hey, pigs might fly...

Off topic, but, just hear me out. Yeah?

I know, I know it was Christmas a matter or days ago and I know I was super keen for it and I really did have a wickedly good day, promise I did. But I just had a bit of a revelation and feel the need to blog about it. Okay? Right, good.


Thinking about NY resolutions. I really do like them and I'm pretty excited to make mine and then attempt to stick to it and make my life better. But, I want to be happier and to not be bothered. Things that are in my head that do not need to be in my head will be removed from it. I've realised I do not have the time, patience, inclination or energy anymore.

Genuinely thinking about deleting twitter, or at least people off it, keep it strictly to following beauty blogs and home and lifestyle stuff, I don't want any more negative energy to effect me. And it's what people tell me or what they hear, not just what I encounter. I want a more positive and wholesome existence-ignore how new age that sounds,.-so why don't I go do something about it? I promise I'm not turning hippy or being a nun, though bet they have happy lives..so potentially. Shan't rule that idea out just yet!


There are maybe eight, nine people that really make me happy. Some know who they are, some don't and will never have to know. They will always be my sunshine on the cloudy days, regardless.

Well, looks what day it is

It's Christmas guys, I am loving it as I thought I was and I am psyched. New blogging tool. Hello iPad mini, so so now I can and will blog on the go all the time. So so excited, me and Chlo are going to get on with our fashion blog and then I will be an ace blogger all the time and all will be done to the accompaniment of the now that's what I call Disney.

I will return. Au revoir! O&O.

The world is not prepared for this.

Me and Cee are starting a fashion blog, name under construction.
It will be fab and brill and wonderful and will be our fashion lives.

We have our posts planned and layout and I am secretly ridiculously psyched. I have always had this dream of being a fashion blogger-because that isn't sad-and now I am going to be.

Gonna start compiling photos of what I like, what I don't, my best outfits, might even take my camera to school and town and start a look of the week thing.

This thing will be amazing. I promise you faithfully.

Get excited. O&O

264 hours

If you're keen for a certain event you'll understand my title. I am a keeno.


I went Christmas shopping today, and I haven't been in an age and I never normally go but this year I found myself actually having a reasonable amount of money to spend on family and friends so I have no, in all of one day, reduced myself to having £2.70.


Bought everything for C and my mummy and most of the things for my sister. Got to get some more bits for R and D and J but, I am so nearly done.

Hallelujah.


Anyway! Keep it Christmassy folks.

O&O

A-ha

I'll keep you updated onmy beauty life too. Just, for the record.


I have horrible skin. I am actually genuinely always looking for miracle cures. And things for my hair. And, I think I have an addiction to Boots.




Muahahaha, life sorted again.


o&o, happier blogger now.

Why, why, why Delilah?

I am so glad no one called me Delilah. I'd be constantly singing that song..



I am such a weird, confused little person. I had decided my whole life plan the other day, university-American Studies, primary school teacher. I'd love it, dream life, cute clothes and pretty shoes-in my head, I would be the real life Miss Honey out of 'Matilda'.

I remembered I have always wanted to work in fashion, always, always and forever. Wanted to be Ugly Betty and Andy in 'The Devil Wears Prada', I wanted to be the woman in '27 Dresses' and '13 Going on 30'. I was all set to apply for a fashion course and I actually think I chickened out of the whole thing. Which makes me sad, because what if that was what I was meant to do?


I love clothes, I like nothing better than going shopping and if I had endless amounts of money that is genuinely all I would do. That and lose weight, because clothes always look better on skinnier people-personally.

I am not "indie", I do not follow that awfully stereotypic view of I wear tie dyed shirts and leggings with hi-top converse and dip dyed hair and my boyfriends hoodie because I honestly don't like it.

Do I have my nose pierced? Yes. Does this make me"one of them"? No, I don't think so. Am I always scouting for new fashion ideas and new clothes and new looks? Good God yes.


But, at the same time. Clothes are depressing, no? Always seeing things that you want and can't afford or seeing someone that looks better than you in the same thing.

There will always be one thing that I cannot stand. If I buy something and then someone goes and buys the same thing. It does not look cool if you and your friend are chilling in the same coat-and although, this exact thing hasn't happened to me, I'm sure one day, it will. It's like, please, buy what you would like to buy. Not what I've got on. Hahah, it's funny the things that annoy us, don't you think?


Well, now I'm annoyed and a bit 'meh'-ish, so I'm off. If ever I find any devilishly good clothes or whatever, I'll keep you in the loop.


o&o.

Why I have the best job.

Best job and apparently most original blog titles...

But, yes. It's christmas fairly soon and in Matket Bosworth, where I work, there is a late night shopping event. All the fairy lights are switched on, there are carols and reindeer and a band and craft stalls all outside in the market square.

I work at Courtyard Candy. We are on twitter somewhere, @crtydcandy maybe and we have a website-google us and up we pop-so, check us out! And we have been open for three years now and we opened on late night shopping night. I have been there for three years and I have loved it from the start.


Tonight, we were reindeer. We had to wear brown and wear our reindeer head hats. Definitely my most attractive look...


It was so manically busy tonight and everyone really pulled together and it went so smoothly, genuinely like clockwork. I was impressed.

I work with the most lovely, beautiful propel I could ever dream of and we get the most amazing customers.


Definitely restoring my faith in humanity! Makes me so happy when a plan comes together. There will be evidence of me and my reindeer hat soon!


Over and out, my little elves.

My very first emotional post.

I'm eighteen in five days-thought I'd give you some backstory for this-and today, I was sad.

My mum was married to a man called Pip, who died when I was four, in 1999. She has, quote, never loved anyone else. Recently, we-mummy, me, my sister-moved out of our house after a relationship breakdown. Since then, mum's mentioned more and more things about Pip.

For one-he'd light a candle in her room everynight when she went to bed so she was never in the dark-cause he worked night shifts-and today, we had some wine and she said that white wine always reminded her of him.


That then got on to my birthday. I said she could buy me my first legal drink and she said that Pip would be proud and so pleased that I was 18 and that he would be the one to buy me that first ever legal drink.


That got me thinking. Of all the things he will never get to see, I wonder-constantly-if he's proud of me, whether he's up there somewhere looking out for us.

You'll come to realise, that I like stars. Like in the lion king, stars to me are people that have passed. And, I find whenever it gets hard, there's always a star. Because thinking that and knowing he's looking out for me really is the best thing ever.



ANYWAY. Don't want to be sad anymore.
Make the weekend special. O, O.

For Fleur, and others

One day, R decided to change all my phone contacts' names to Harry Potter characters without me knowing. So, I was getting texts from Voldemort and missed calls off Hagrid, all very confusing and to this day I don't  know who half of my contacts are and they are still HP people. Making me best friends with Dumbledore and daughter of Harry Potter and sister to Draco. Which is fine.

Background over, I've realised I refer to people as their Potter name as opposed to their real names. So, Fleur-is a) a guy and b) not especially floral-but, he is known as Fleur or Flo. But my reasoning for this post is he said elephants always look sad.

Elephants do not always look sad.

And I intend on proving this when I find proof. Which I will. One day..

Practically ancient

GOOD EVENING WEMBLEY.

Hehehe, always wanted to say that.

I am now officially eighteen. And this has been the best week of my life ever. Without sounding too cliched that is.

So, I had a birthday week. Pushed the boat out, and all-because, after all, you're only 18 once :)

Tuesday, meal with my mummy and my sister.
Wednesday, presents, most romantic moment of my life, best friends, tea party.
Friday, cheeky meal and cocktails with my lovelies.

I was spoilt rotten and I really am such a lucky girl! I feel the need to explain my romantic moment because my boy's so cute and lovely and you all have to know.
Backstory, I like magic stars.

My boy, bought me magic stars. He had taped his locker key to the back. Off to the locker I go. Open locker. Inside was a Pandora bag. At this moment I was thinking "what on earth?.." because he had sworn profusely that I was not getting anything from Pandora. Opened bag. See little box. Open little box. Hello ring. He got me the most beautiful moonstone ring and it's simple and elegant and I love it and, no, we are not engaged or thinking of it. Which is what the parents thought...


My girls, R and C, bought me eighteen presents which were all funny and adorable and I love them for it-including a YouTube video, which I adore.

Mummy gave me her engagement ring and old photos in an album and a new Pandora bracelet and lots of other lovely things.


All in all, everyone I love helped me have genuinely the best day ever and the best week and I really will remember it and treasure it forever and ever and a day. I am so blessed and so fortunate and overwhelmed by it all.


Over and out, blogisphere. And big love.

The wonders that are birthdays.

Eight days to go until my eighteenth birthday and it's safe to say that I'm, oh, just a little excited.

Today was R's birthday and a couple weeks ago it was C's birthday and then in a few days it's G'a birthday oh, oh and then it's mine. So, birthday galore.


They're so happy and I don't understand how you can't love a good birthday because the "I'm a year older" vibe does not wash with me, it just means that you've got another year of life to celebrate and maybe just appreciate and learn from which is always a valuable experience.

My muse for this post is R. And the fact that she turned 18 today. Me and C went out, bought her present, balloon, card, cake, joke presents, candles-the works and surprised her with it all at lunch at school. It was the look on her face and on everyone elses that made today so lovely. Because, sometimes it is easier to be mopey than cheerie and you can't not be cheerie when the whole dining hall is singing and clapping because it happens to be the anniversary of the day you were born, and it's the little things like this that make me like the human race.


Every continent, every culture, everyone has their own thing for birthdays. I pray that that never stops.



Over and out, homies.

Apathy should be my middle name...

Apathy means, really, to be lacking an interest or enthusiasm. Which, I am. In so, so many aspects of my existence, not to sound all "woe is me" or anything..

Being a teenage girl, the amount of bitching and gossip and rumours and crap and melodrama I have to contend with is getting beyond a joke. My own circle of homies aside, walking down a corridor has become walking through a tunnel of "did you hear what she did?!", "but, she thinks you're a cow but I wasn't meant to say anything" and-my personal favourite-"she's a stuck up bitch" which on my daily walk to English I don't really care for. It is so tiring and so boring that now, I've reached a point of not really caring. I hear things, I listen, might comment or just agree because it's easiest but am I that bothered? No.

There are way, way bigger fish that need frying and I dont want to waste the oil.

Nor can I justify it, how is spending your lesson texting the girl next to you about how far you went with a guy or what she said to her a positive use of anyones time? But maybe, I'm just bitter because I'm tired and have coursework due tomorrow.


I'm apathetic about feeling apathetic. Or maybe , I'm bored. Could well be a combination of both. Hm. I often wonder if it's just me that gets like this? Or if everyone else does too. I hope, for my own sanity, it isn't just me. And, for the record, I'm a gossip, it's fine, I was just saying and not being massively hypocritical. I dont like doing it but I do and we all do and that's life and life can suck. :D




o&o blossoms.

Pet names, heheh.

I really do enjoy a good petname. You might have guessed that from the name of my blog.

I suppose this is like the MIC thing, you either love them or you think they're ridiculous. I, personally, love them.


I have an annoying tendency to whip out "flower", "sweetness", "kitten" regardless of people wanting me to or not. I have to try and restrain myself when talking to strangers, I wouldn't want to appear freakishly forward by calling a new person "sweetpea"..

Don't you think it's nice when someone drops in a "flower" at the end of a question? Yes? Good, good. I do. Makes everything a lot more personal, I do it all the time at work and I think people like me for it. Or just think I'm weird, which in all fairness I am, and that's fine. I think I'd be bored because the world would be such a quiet place if there was no quirkiness.



Anyway, before this takes a turn for the deep.. Over and out, sugarplum.

the BIG people.

 

 

because I love you.

Ode to the beautiful people in my life.

 

Today, was a very strange day. I don’t entirely know what happened or why it was so odd but it was-and, it made me realise who my beautiful people are.

 

R, ray of sunshine, favouritest ever.
I’ve never really been a particularly open person, but I have told her everything, things the poor girl hasn’t wanted or needed to know. I told her yesterday that I’d write about her when I next posted so here it is, I honestly do not know what I’d do without her, at all. Every time we go out in town, I crash at hers, every time we go out at my end, we crash at mine. We go on dates, we’re going to Paris for the day, I spend all my free periods with her, she really is my best friend ever.

 

Lately, there have been so many instances where I’ve depended so much on my friends and there are only a handful of people I rely on, ever. My new philosophy-courtesy of my tutor, James-is have a lot of BIG days. Putting aside the innuendo, basically, make the most out of every day and my own addition is to ignore the “little” people. I don’t mean to just avoid people that are physically small, I mean little as in worthless, people that don’t add any value to your life.

 

 

So, those people that you find in your life that really and truly make a difference, make sure you do the same to them.

 

Over and out; and no, I don’t mean to preach.

Well, that's embarrassing..

Given my last post was singing the praises of MIC, I'm a little abashed to say that actually episode two was not that thrilling and quite possibly not worth watching. Don't be too sad if you missed that one...


I do have other things to do other than scrutinise Made in Chelsea, promise.



O&O.  

Asdfghjkl, Made in Chelsea

So, I know you either love it or you hate it I i am so unashamed to say that MIC has become such a massive part of my life. Every Monday at ten I will stop whatever I am doing to watch the lives of Ollie, Cheska, Millie, Spencer and co unfold.

There's the spiel at the beginning about some scenes being created for entertainment purposes, but I don't mind that-hahah, kind of makes my life feel a bit better, knowing that how they live isn't really how they live.


I keep so freakishly up to date with Mills' make up blog and Binky's blogs for the times and Escentual. Oh, and I might just follow them all on Twitter..maybe.

(talking of twitter; @fiona_melia ;))


I'm writing this now, in the breaks of tonights episode, ee-it's too good. People are texting me and I'm not replying because it is MIC night and therefore, cannot be distracted..



So, whatever-be judgemental, think I'm superficial for being a little in love with an e4 show? That's cool:)


But, tallyho chaps. Part four's about to start!

Over and out.

I want a tattoo.

I want a tattoo, really, really I do.



I like birds and I like anchors and flowers, I like them as well.
However, I have a tiny pain threshold and the thought of a tattoo makes my skin hurt..so perhaps, not my brightest idea?

I like this, but obviously, not there and I'm not a guy...

I don't know the chest in question, but I doubt he'll mind being used here. I sort of want an anchor, a swallow, rose and a daisy combined together. I just don't know where..hate making decisions. 

I. Love. That. 

Oh, dear. I hate finding things I like, makes me want them and well, too scared for tattoos, man. 

Aim for my life-get less scared. 

Over and out. 

Because, I'm a virgin blogger.

Going on from the title, I imagine you've got the gist, I've never blogged before. But, it's always something I've wanted to do-so, here I am doing it. 

I'm not entirely sure what this is going to be-a place to rant, or just waffle on about what goes on in my oh-so-exciting life..or maybe both. Probably both. 

Must say, October's throwing some wicked weather out. I'm genuinely a little bit confused what's going on in the meteorological world. Is not doing my wardrobe choices any help. Nothing too fascinating or traumatising to report, yet. Oo, R. bought a bonsai tree-called Jimmy. That's how good the week has been. 

Over and out, tiger.